Parents Just Don't Understand

Lately, there's been a lot of hub bub about the role that princesses, and anything pink and frilly play in our daughters' lives. We've got the non-fiction book: Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein, the viral Youtube video of the little girl going on a rant over pink toys, endless articles and blogs about the war on pink and princesses. Let's get a few things out of the way: I am a feminist, pretty hard-core, and I am a life-long tomboy. I wear Chucks and jeans and t-shirts of zombies. I have a daughter who is spunky, loves pink, loves being girlie, loves princesses and fashion. Did I hear a gasp? I sure hope not because the truth here is that I am fine with that. She also likes ghosts, zombies and scary stories. She's very free with herself.

At first, when she was still a baby, I was appalled at all the pink in the stores, and the princess brigade that smashed in my home. I was in horror. And then I lightened up and realized that pink and princesses were not my enemies. Maybe I am alone on this, but I truly believe that you should let your children explore their likes and let them be free with liking things that you may find horrendous (like Justin Bieber). It was an important lesson I learned from my mother, who never tried to shape my likes. What she did shape were my values. I do not stand in the way of my daughter trying to figure herself out. She's not a toy and I don't need her to be my identical twin. I want her to live this life to the fullest, and enjoy every moment the way she wants to. I'm sure I just painted a picture of a swooning, marshmallow of a mom. But this is not the case. I am a tough mom. I don't put up with rudeness, meanness, violence, laziness or acting stupid. I encourage my daughter to perform to her fullest, to always believe in herself, and to be kind to others. The same as my mother taught me, and I think I turned out pretty good (maybe my opinion, let the bickering begin).

Women and girls should have as many choices as possible. Isn't that what we feminists have been fighting for? Don't we want our girls to grow up being however they want to be? Even if it means letting girls like pink and princesses. That's when I start to lock horns with the other feminists. The argument that is often placed before me is that the media and corporations are brainwashing our girls to be silly, frilly, girlie messes. What I think a lot of people are underestimating is the power of parenting and the power of free-thinking children. I can't tell you how many times my mom said "you can do and be anything you want to be", so imagine my surprise when the Army recruiter told me I couldn't be a Ranger because I'm a woman. I think what this whole argument comes down to is the fear that girls are being taught to be mindless girlie-girls. Well, if you teach your daughter to think for herself, then what's wrong with being girlie? You can blame the media all you want for shoving girlie stuff down our throats, but ask yourself "who is the media". Trust me, they're not some horned warlock on the top of a mountain, watching over the humans. They are people, and they act on what the population wants. If something is unsuccessful, they stop pushing it. And ultimately, you, as a parent are responsible for guiding your children and teaching them to think for themselves.

I have no problem with my daughter's love of girlie things. She's just exploring her personality, and if that means that the feminists of the world shun her, then so be it because THIS feminist thinks it's okay for people to just be themselves. A woman who is girlie is no less of a woman who is not. There are so many worse things to be than girlie: a drug-dealing crackhead, a mean-spirited person, a violent criminal, etc. I'll take girlie.