If You Build It They Will Come, Part Mew

Here they are! The pics of the House that Cat Built! Actually, this house is much better than the one my dad built for our dog.

Are those shingles? Oh yes, they are.

Cats agree, this house looks pretty good!

This is the inside! Cozzzzzyyyyy!!!!!

As usual, the cats have to fight over who gets the fluffy pillow!

If You Build It, They Will Come!

I LOVE cats! I cherish my cat and she even has her own Facebook page. Get this, she has 24 friends currently. So, 24 people love my cat too! I can't explain to you why I'm a cat junkie. If I see a cat walking around, I am instantly BFF's with them. Maybe I was a cat in a past life...

My house was full of cats when I was a kid. At one point I think we had 8 cats living in our small house. It was not snug-fest, but more like American Gladiators. Good times! My mom always seemed hesitant to let another stray cat in, but she would cave in. I used to think it was our sad little faces or our promises to care for the homeless creature, but now I have had some recent realizations. My dad liked cats too, but he was never outspoken. He would pet them, but not swoon over them or spend his entire afternoon throwing toys for them. Can you guess who was doing that?

After the last cat in the brood of 8 died, my dad swore off having any more cats in the house. I believed him for a while...until he retired. There was a legion of strays in the backyard that had regular feeding times and names. Now, my dad is not known for his ability to name animals. Our dog was named Chico. The strays were named "grey kitty", "grey kitty's sister", "bob-tail kitty", "Big boy kitty", "Whiny" and "One-eyed Jack". I laughed it off until I saw cat toys in the backyard. I asked my mom about it and she told me that dad bought them and plays with the cats. That moment I said, "you know he's going to build a house for those cats". Then I'd joke about the house being like the infamous dog house for Chico: a two-story doghouse made out of plywood scraps. Two stories? No ladder or steps? anyway...

The cats already had a shelter: they slept under the patio table and they even had pillows. That was more than luxurious for a stray cat, right?

Just today my mom told me that dad is building a house...for the cats...with siding. I laughed and joked that they'd get a hot tub next, but I commend my dad for his commitment to keeping animals happy and safe. I saw it coming, so I can't say I'm surprised. I'm sure there are plenty of other cat-fanatics out there who have done the same thing, but have they done it right? Don't get me wrong; any stray appreciates a roof over their head, but if you could peer into their tiny little minds and see what they really want...

Motion-sensor doors: cats do not like to do any work and they don't like things to touch them.

Low Ceilings: makes them feel big

Windows with large fluffy sills and mechanical squirrels and birds on rotation outside: It's like TV for cats, plus if it's a stray they might have PTSD-so might as well placate them.

Grass carpeting: Who said that only the Ancients needed a Vomitorium? Barf-city!

Room o'Balls: Not a ball jump room- please, cats would be offended if a ball touched their fur. Just a room where they can bat around balls and then walk away like they just don't care. Make sure to have a pair that dangle down. They are sadistic.

Heating: Has to be Central Air otherwise you'll have Kitty Flambe.

Watering Hole: Have you ever noticed that cats don;t want to drink out of their designated water bowl? They always seem to gravitate towards that cup of water you've left in your nightstand, or the toilet (or in my house's case- the urinal). So why force them to drink from a bowl. Make a room that has a little pond (with a filter please) and a toilet for the connoisseur.

Scratching Post Central: wall-to-wall scratching posts, made out of carpeting. It gives them that sense of destruction, which makes a happy cat.

Human Room: A room that has one or two fake humans inside, preferably made out of straw and canvas for biting and sharpening claws on. The humans should be warm and do not move, ever. They should also have a voice box that quietly says, "Good Kitty" or "Who's a pretty kitty?", but most importantly, "Yes, your Majesty". It can only help their inflated egos.

Poop Palace: Four walls, floor made of kitty litter, and an automatic littler cleaner. Plant some grass in it for that extra touch of class.

Chow Hall: Being strays, they might want to bring in what they've killed for the day. Some are lazy and should have a paw controlled dry food release. Plush cushions and white tile flooring, plus posters with woodland critters and their kill spots.

Sun Roof: Not what you're thinking. I mean a literal sun roof, a section of roofing for ultimate sunning. should be flat and comfortable with a chilled beverage waiting for them (I hear they like Mouse-tinis.)

Pillows galore: For napping, sleeping, hiding. Not too fluffy and not too flat. Cat might come and find you and decide your face is better.

Clean Laundry: It never fails. You pull that load out of the dryer and walks away for a second before folding and sorting. You come back to a super-comfy cat peering up at you from the mound of warm clean clothes. This is bliss for a cat and you might as well put it in their house to give them that sensation of defiance.

Throne room: No explanations needed.

Catnip Fields: a room completely dedicated to a cat's need to get high, er I mean frisky. Their lives are stressful and even kitties need to cut loose!

Disco Ball: Cats are tacky, and they also like to chase lights. This could be fun for them as well as YouTube worthy for you.



These are just the basics. Your job is to build off of these. Just remember: do not make an ugly house. Cats are extremely sensitive to ugly things as well as their status amongst their peers. Unless you want a Night of the Vengeful Cats scenario, you should give them a pretty house with mosaics in stone of their pretty puss.



Coming soon: picture of cat house built by my dad. I will make sure that One-eyed Jack is inside of it.

Picture above is only a small sample from http://www.classypetshop.com/. Wow...

Al Rescate! Cartoons to the Rescue!

Al Rescate! Cartoons to the Rescue!

It doesn’t take an astrophysicist to figure out that times are crappy. Economy: sucks, Government: lame, Environment: hates us, Foreign Relations: still broken up, no rebound. That’s a huge whopping plate of scary for the next president to take over. With 30 days to go, I still am not so sure that either Obama or McCain knows how to solve this mess, but really- who does?! Hmmm….who does? (light bulb) You know what? Since real people have screwed things up so badly, maybe not real people can fix the world! Maybe our future can be saved by cartoons!!!!! Before you say, “What the @#*%?” hear me out. I have carefully selected qualified cartoon characters who I think could save our country and probably the world.

Secretary of the Interior: Captain Planet. Oh yeah, that’s right. He’s our hero. He’ll take pollution down to a zero. By monitoring our land and what we do with it, he can make changes towards successful alternative energy and great bounds in conservation (and not just because he’s super huge). Plus, he’s a super hero. He can just blow smog away with his powerful breath.

Secretary of Defense: Zok (from the Herculoids). For crying out loud, he can neutralize attacks with his nega-beams that shoot from his eyes! And he breathes fire!!!!

Secretary of Education: Professor Xavier. He runs a school…for mutants. If he can deal with their needs, then normal humans will be no problem. And he fully endorses after school programs, such as the X-men. Bonus points: He’s already a professor!!!

Secretary of Veterans’ Affairs: Duke (from G.I. Joe) He’s been in ‘Nam, and ran four Special Forces schools. I think it’s time for him to have a cushy job. How’s that PTSD going, Duke?

Secretary of Treasury: Scrooge McDuck. He’s a skinflint. Unlike the frivolous spenders that run our treasury today, Scrooge McDuck will keep a firm grip on the government’s wallet.

Secretary of Agriculture: Farmer Smurf. Self-explanatory. Okay, so he’s a Communist, but he can grow anything! And he knows what its like to protect his crops from gigantic rabbits and disgruntled wizards.

Secretary of Commerce: Alvin Seville. This chipmunk is a straight up business. Each episode he has some new business project under wraps. That’s an amazing feat for a woodland creature. Well, aside form the fact that he can talk…and sing.

Secretary of Labor: Fred Flintstone. The man knows how to keep a job. And he works under some dangerous conditions. He’s got OSHA in his sights, and AFLAC on the brain. Have no doubts, Fred’s working for you!

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Nanny (from Muppet babies). Aside from the fact that she cared for and fed 8 beings in her house, she was able to keep the 2 human babies (Scooter and Skeeter) and herself from contracting strange Pig, Frog, Blue Weirdo, Dog and Animal (whatever he is) diseases.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Foofur. Not only does he know how hard it is to keep foreclosure at bay, but he is also generous and kind to those who have no home.

Secretary of Transportation: Optimus Prime. A car with a thinking mind. I wouldn’t question it.

Secretary of Energy: Dexter. He has a weird accent, but that kid can build anything. Need a nuclear warhead built in the basement of a quiet suburban house? He’s the kid!

Secretary of Homeland Security: Voltron. With a watchful eye, Voltron always knows what’s going on. Mighty robot, gentle heart- will not kill own humans. Anyway, when you have to battle Prince Lotor every damn day- that’s called experience.

Secretary of State: Jem. She has traveled the world and won their hearts with her kick-ass girl band. Even when she visited China and was accused of a crime, she was able to gain their trust and not get executed by a firing squad. Jem understands foreign relations better than anyone- she’s been touring for like ever, and is able to adapt to different locales’ customs (Showtime, Synergy!). No pit bull here, just sweet, sweet Jem.

Attorney General: Bugs Bunny. Call in the big guns! Smooth operator Bugs Bunny. No one, let me say that again, no one can smooth talk better than Bugs. He is lawyer to the core!

Vice President: Mr T. Before you say, “Wait, he’s real!”, just remember that there was a cartoon of this guy, and the cartoon Mr. T is not a real person. Mr. T is full of wisdom. He is tough and knows what he’s talking about (please see moral lesson at end of each episode). He’s an all American; coached the U.S. Gymnastics team and solved mysteries like: Mystery of the Mind-Thieves, Mystery of the Panthermen, and UFO Mystery. He can definitely offer his insights to the President.

President: Velma Dinkley. She may be young and inexperienced, but Velma has some serious brain power. She uses her knowledge to guide her to solving mysteries, holds strategy meetings with Mystery, Inc., lets Fred think that his plan has worked, and loves big drooly dogs. Velma may lose her glasses, but she always comes through and saves the day. She is the unsung hero that has saved the world from over one hundred villains such as, the Owl Men, Creeper, the ghost of Benedict Arnold, and Charlie the Robot. She can lead us out of these dark times! Let's face it, most of today's villains are just as cartoonish as the villains in her world.

Will the real Maverick stand up?

"Morning, Scott."

"Morning, Wells."

"Ghost Rider, we have an unknown aircraft. Vector 090 for bogey."

"Who's up there?"

"Cougar, Merlin, Maverick and Goose."

"Great. Maverick and Goose."



I don't know about you, but I have heard the word maverick so many times in the past month that I think the word has lost all meaning. I'd like to go back to the root of the word before figuring this mess out. The definition of maverick is: 1: an unbranded range animal; especially a motherless calf 2: an independent individual who does not go along with a group or party. The etymology of the word stems from a man named Samuel A. Maverick. He was a cattleman in the 1800's who intentionally did not brand his calves. He was also a Democrat. Is McCain a maverick? We could argue that till the cows come home (bu-dum ching!), but I think Joe Biden (heart!) summed it up pretty spectacularly. Instead of arguing if McCain is a maverick, let's look at some famous and not so famous mavericks.

1. Maverick, (TV series, 1957-1960) starring James Garner as Bret Maverick, an adventurous gambler who punched the crap out of a lot of villains. He had 2 brothers who were named Beau and Bart.

2. Top Gun (1986), starring Tom Cruise as Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell. He was a bad boy who flew amazingly dangerous...and destroyed an expensive military aircraft...and had sex with his government-contract instructor.

3.Maverick (1994), starring Mel Gibson as Bret Maverick in a movie based on the TV show starring James Garner.

4."Maverick" Matt- one of the monikers of a professional wrestler named Matt Bentley, cousin to Shawn Michaels, superstar wrestler. Note: self-proclaimed maverick.

5.Maury Maverick, grandson to Samuel Maverick. A Texas Democrat lawyer, congressman, businessman, who coined the term "gobbledygook" in reference to bureaucrat language, inspired by the sounds of a turkey.

6. Maverick chocolate bar, by Nestle. Had raisins, toffee, bits of biscuit, topped with caramel and dipped in milk chocolate. Discontinued. Some say it was the best candy bar they ever had, some the worst. Up for debate.

7. Maverick, Madonna's record label. (sorry Madge, McCain no likey you, though you are probably a true maverick)

8. Ford Maverick, a compact car, very ugly, made from 1969-1977

9. Maverick, character in X-Men, former member of CIA's Team X, then became known later as Agent Zero who was supposed to kill Wolverine (don't read Hugh Jackman, don't read!)

10.The Dallas Mavericks, an NBA team whose uniforms are designed by Sean "P.Diddy" Combs. Mascot is Champ the Horse who, according to one fan's rant, repeatedly humiliated a fan by pretending to urinate on them at a game for wearing a Warriors shirt.

You know, if you're not a member of the Maverick family, I think that maybe calling oneself a maverick defeats the purpose. It's like those organized groups who call themselves anarchists. Just don't make much sense. It seems the word is a cute phrase now. It's a buzzword with very little meaning anymore. Hopefully after Nov. 4th, the word will be retired from the lips of the media and put to good use at a later time, like say-talking about Samuel Maverick's family.

What's in a name?

Movies, books, tv shows, songs...the name is crucial in telling the audience what the mood of the movie is and what it's about. Look at Snakes on a Plane. Enough said. So that got me thinking. He-man is a great example of how important names can be.


Skeletor. Rahhhhhhh! Scary name! Run, hide, it's goddamn Skeletor!!! He's got a lame voice and is strangely muscular for a bag of bones, but his name means business. You know he's going to wreck some sh*t. I can only imagine the process for the writers to come up with this heinous villain's name, but I'm sure it went a little like this:

"Hmmm...so, we've got this evil guy who's got a skull head."


"How about Evil Skully?"


"No, how about Skeleton?"


"Ummm...too obvious. How would it sound for He-man to say 'I will defeat you, Skeleton!' It's just gay."


"Fine, how about something macho like Skullinator?"


"uh no. Then we'd have to give him a gun and he could just shoot He-man."


"Wait!! Ive got it. How about we take Skeleton and Skullinator and combine them?"


"Skulliton?"


"No you fool!" long dramatic pause, "Skeletor!!!!" Thunder, lightning, evil laughter in the distance.



I'd have to say that most characters on He-man have self-explanatory names: He-man, Battlecat, Man-E-Faces, etc. Who needs convoluted names when you're a ten-year-old viewer...or thirty.

The Smurfs are an interesting case in point. While the Smurfs themselves have names indicative of a communist society (Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Painter Smurf, etc.), Gargamel got the shaft. What the hell does Gargamel mean? I know it was supposedly a name taken from a French series of novels called Gargantua and Pantagruel from the 16th century. Supposedly a female name, Gargamelle, who was a giant as well as Gargantua's mother. Is this true? According to Google Books it seems so. Is that where the Smurf creator, Peyo, got the name? Maybe. Regardless, it sounds more like the noise one would make while hocking up some phlegm. It sounds vile and ugly and you know that this is a character that is more disgusting than crap. Sure, we can tell that Gargamel is a villainous name, but it commands no authority. Not like Skeletor. Come on, you hear Skeletor and you know he sits in a throne and has henchmen. Gargamel, not so much. And I'm sure that Gargamel's grody sounding name had a lasting psychological effect on him. There is speculation that a name can drastically effect how one might feel about themselves or feel that other's perceive them. Reading an online article from Psychology Today, I found an interesting case:

Norma Sofia Marsano, had always been a Norma but decided to go by her middle
name when she left Kentucky to attend college in Michigan. "I felt that Norma
held me back. Sofia sounds fun and cute, whereas Norma sounds like an
ugly-girl's name. I liked myself more when I started going by Sofia."

Let's face it, Gargamel's life sucked. He had bad teeth, ripped-up raggedy clothes, a moldy castle, a cat that didn't really like him, an assistant that screwed everything up, and was always being beat up by Big Mouth. I have no doubt that his low self-esteem and negative disposition all stemmed from a lousy name. Would he have gone on his evil quest to eat smurfs or try to turn them into gold, if he was named Jerry? Debatable. Hat's off to you Gargamel, for your lousy name and horrible demeanor. I don't blame you.

At least his cat's name Azrael means something cool: archangel of death.

Works Cited:
Flora, Carlin. "Hello, My Name is Unique." Psychology Today Magazine Mar/Apr 2004.
<http://psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=20040302-000002&page=1>

Welcome to Nerrrd Girl!

Welcome to the Nerrrd Girl Blog: a tiny corner of the Internet where nerrrd girls can gather and embrace their nerdiness. If you're wondering what a nerrrd girl is, I suppose I should give some kind of definition. Nerrd girls are ladies who are not ashamed of being called a nerd for being slightly bookish, or admiring the dorkier things in life. Good example: I like to read thick dusty books, commentate while watching Japanese cinema, obsess over comic books, build crafts and adore SCIENCE. Wow, that's pretty nerdy. But what makes me nerrrdy is that I don't feel like I should apologize for it. So, if you feel the same way about your nerdiness, then this is the place for you!! Yay! Topics discussed here will range from the scientific to the strange and sometimes the science of the strange. I welcome you all and please keep checking in for new posts. If you are a nerrrdy girl who has a website promoting yourself or your nerdy business, I would love to create a links list of nerrrdy girls.

Nugget of the day: No living creature needs 100 legs! Ick.